North York Shire Pudding. They scored 166.25, the best mark in the league by nearly twenty points, and buried Weston 166.25 to 115.25. Brady Tkachuk led every skater alive with 40, Seth Jones added 34.25 from the blue line, and Matthew Tkachuk chipped in 25. Three Florida Panthers accounted for 99.25 of the pudding's total, which is less a lineup than a tropical weather advisory. Last week North York had the finest goaltender in the league and lost. This week it had the finest forward, the finest defenseman, and a win stamped in capital letters. The pudding has finally set.
Weston Steamrollers. They scored 115.25, a total that beats half the clubs on most weeks, and still lost by 51. McDavid led with 31.5, Scheifele added 16.75, and Tuch 13.75. The Steamrollers are 0-3 with 414.0 points against, the most in the league by a comfortable margin, and spent the week reinventing their roster for Monday. None of it counted this period. McDavid outscored entire clubs and still finished on the wrong side of the ledger, which is the Steamrollers' specialty.
Grimsby Guzzlers. They beat Hamilton 146.5 to 118.5 and sit alone at 3-0 with 366.5 points for, first in everything that matters. Jack Quinn and Mark Stone tied for the club lead at 25.5 apiece, and Carter Verhaeghe added 24.25. The joke, and it is a rich one, is that Grimsby released Quinn on October 14 for Fraser Minten, effective 10/19. Quinn scored every one of those 25.5 points while still wearing a Guzzlers sweater. Summerside has claimed him. Grimsby keeps the points, Summerside keeps the man, and the league office keeps a straight face. The Guzzlers ordered another round anyway.
Hamilton Five Hole. They scored 118.5 and lost to the only unbeaten club in the league. Jack Hughes led with 18.25, Quinn Hughes added 17.5, and Marner 14.25. Hamilton led Grimsby deep into the week and then watched the Guzzlers drink them under the table. On the transactions desk they claimed Cam Fowler, then dropped him for Damon Severson. Fowler, now a free agent again, scored 12.25 as an unsigned man this period. The Five Hole have stopped reading their own name aloud, which is progress of a sort.
Madison Millionaires. They scored 142.0, the third-best total of the week, and beat Spryfield 142 to 132. Jeremy Swayman led with 21 from the crease, Mattias Samuelsson added 20.75 from the blue line, and Evan Bouchard 19.5. Two of the club's top three are defensemen, which is how old money prefers to travel: heavily insured and slightly bored. Madison also claimed Lucas Raymond off waivers after Summerside spilled him, and swapped Mintyukov for Josh Manson, both effective 10/19. The Millionaires are 2-1, second in the standings with 353.2 points for, and continue to treat the season like a trust fund that writes its own checks.
Spryfield Winning Streaks. They scored 132.0, enough to beat eleven other clubs, and lost. Jesper Wallstedt led with 22 in goal, Podkolzin added 18.25, and Pastrnak 17.75. Spryfield still sits ninth at 1-2 but owns 359.0 points for, second only to Grimsby, which means they are losing games and winning the arithmetic. They added Neal Pionk and Shane Pinto this week, both effective 10/19, and released Shesterkin, who stayed on the premises through Sunday like a tenant with a key and no lease.
Milton Maniacs. They beat Halifax 120.75 to 85.5. Linus Ullmark posted 26, the best goaltending week in the league, Sergachev added 17, and Michkov 12. Milton also claimed Aaron Ekblad off waivers from Weston, effective 10/19, which makes Ekblad the rare defenseman unwanted on Wednesday, productive anyway, and claimed by Friday. The Maniacs are 2-1 and climbing, and Ullmark has asked that the crease be bronzed.
Halifax Hurricanes. They scored 85.5 and lost. Kirill Kaprizov led with 28.5, Thompson added 15.25, and Seider 13.5. Kaprizov alone was worth more than a third of the club's total, which is weather of a highly localized kind. Halifax added Trevor Connelly and Logan Stanley late in the week, both effective 10/19, and the forecast remains unsettled.
Brudenell Black Hawks. They beat Ancaster 131.25 to 76.75, the second-widest margin of the week. Matt Boldy led with 25.5, Celebrini added 17.75, and Dougie Hamilton 15. The Black Hawks are 2-1 and now own a win that looks less like a fluke and more like a plan. Ancaster, last week's co-unbeaten darling, has been invited to reconsider its travel schedule.
Ancaster Avalanche. They scored 76.75 and lost by 54.5. MacKinnon led with 20.75, Connor added 14.5, and Kadri 11.25. The Avalanche entered the week 2-0 and left it 2-1 with snow in places snow should not be. They made no transactions. Last week the snow arrived late and saved them. This week it arrived on time for Brudenell.
Summerside Sea Dawgs. They beat London 109 to 89.5. Lane Hutson led with 18 from the blue line, Owen Power added 16.5, and Matthew Schaefer 14. Three defensemen atop the scoring sheet is either a blueprint or a cry for help, and Summerside insists it is the former. The front office also claimed Jack Quinn after Grimsby dropped him, all of it effective 10/19. Quinn's 25.5 points this period landed on Grimsby's ledger first. Summerside gets the man today. The Sea Dawgs are 2-1 and have filed for a Certificate of Screening Timing, suitable for framing next to last week's birdcage liner.
London Knights. They scored 89.5 and lost. Roman Josi led with 17.75, Carter Hart added 13 in goal, and Sidney Crosby 11.25. Last week London posted 132 and flattened Hamilton. This week the suit of armour dismounted, rested the horse, and watched Summerside's blue line skate away with the furniture. The Knights swapped Trocheck for Noah Ostlund, effective 10/19, which helps next week and comforts nobody today. They sit 1-2 and have asked whether Period 2 can be counted twice.
Oakville Acorns. They beat Regina 123 to 60.25. Leon Draisaitl led with 20.75, Jack Eichel added 20.5, and Logan Thompson 18 in goal. The Acorns are 2-1, fourth in the standings, and spent the week doing what acorns do best: sitting quietly while someone else falls out of a tree. Nobody in Oakville is complaining except the squirrel, who has taken to wearing a tiny Grizzlies sweater as a warning to the neighborhood.
Regina Grizzlies. They scored 60.25, the lowest total in the league by a country mile, and are 0-3 with 176.2 points for on the season. Zack Benson led with 16.25, Peterka added 8.25, and Martone 6.5. Regina made four transactions this week alone. DeAngelo, re-signed only last Saturday night, has been released again and now keeps a packed suitcase by the door as a courtesy to management. Somewhere in Regina a man is updating his own business card for the fourth time this month.
